


The Mission

by Dee_Moyza



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Gen, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 04:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17196548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dee_Moyza/pseuds/Dee_Moyza
Summary: Normally tasked with piloting Balamb Garden, Nida never thought he'd get the chance to prove himself on a mission. But with the escalation of Selphie's strong-arm recruitment tactics for her Garden Festival committee, Nida is assigned a simple, but terrifying task: stop Selphie Tilmitt.  Post-game, one-shot.





	The Mission

_(Disclaimer: As a work of fanfiction, the creation of this piece does not imply ownership of the Final Fantasy franchise, its characters, or any affiliated intellectual property.)_

* * *

"Her recruitment tactics are getting out of hand." Cid sat behind his desk and typed something into his computer, bringing up images on an outward-facing monitor. "Exhibit A. Student number 48639 reported that he was approached by her last Thursday at around 1430 hours, while he was on his way to class. He reported that she repeatedly shoved a clipboard in his direction and demanded he sign. He refused, but when he returned to his dorm room at about 1600 hours, he found it wallpapered with Garden Festival paraphernalia, several layers deep. Maintenance is still helping him remove it from the walls.

"Exhibit B. Student number 50891 is on extended leave from combat training, due to an eye infection she developed as a result of errant glitter from a handful thrown on her by our perpetrator. She is expected to make a full recovery, but it is a painful situation for her.

"Finally, Exhibit C. Last Saturday morning, students and staff awoke to find the fountains in the lobby dressed in all manner of inappropriately silly outfits and bearing signs directing students to sign up for the Garden Festival Committee. Since no permanent damage was done, it was not ruled an act of vandalism, but it was disruptive to the orderly nature of this academy, and disrespectful to the mission of Garden. She must be stopped."

"Yes, Sir." The SeeD standing in Cid's office saluted.

Cid acknowledged this with a nod. "You have been specially chosen for this mission because of your unique standing within Balamb Garden's social hierarchy; namely, that you aren't a part of it at all. You seem to be the only person capable of slipping beneath Tilmitt's radar, the only person who will be able to get close enough to stop her, without falling into her trap. Use whatever means you deem necessary, as long as she is stopped."

Cid slid his keyboard aside and folded his hands on his desk. "Nida. I have high hopes for you, and faith that you will complete this mission successfully. Do not fail me."

"Yes, S – no, Si—Sir!"

"That is all. Dismissed."

* * *

Nida punched the button in the elevator and wondered how best to neutralize Selphie's recruitment activities. He'd noticed that she'd recently been going after the junior classmen and new transfers especially, perhaps because they hadn't yet learned of her reputation, so he figured the hallways around their classrooms would be a good spot to wait for her. After that … well, after that, he had no clue what to do. Truthfully, Selphie terrified him. He'd rather face a Malboro alone on the Great Plains of Esthar than get between her and her objective, but a mission was a mission.

He'd better get a good reward.

He waited in the hallway for several hours before she showed up, whistling a cheery tune and carrying a stack of flyers and a bright yellow stapler. She nodded at him, then proceeded to staple a row of flyers to the bulletin board, disregarding anything that was already there. Nida reached out and pulled them down one by one.

"Hey!" Selphie shouted, ripping the flyers out of his hands. "What the heck are you doing, Nida?"

Nida drew himself up and tried to look severe. "Th-that's a violation of the Garden code," he said. "Excessive distribution of propaganda."

"Propaganda?" Selphie laughed. "I'm looking for people to organize a festival, not topple a regime." She placed a flyer in the center of the bulletin board, then rapidly stamped out a frame of staples around it. "Good luck getting this 'propaganda' off here now," she said. She turned on her heel and walked away.

He followed. "Actually, one flyer isn't a violation. I don't think two is, either. Maybe three …"

"What's with you today Nida? Why are you following me?"

"I'm not following you. I'm just headed in the same direction."

Selphie pointed to the wall ahead of them. "This is a dead end. I just came to propagandize the heck outta the festival on this bulletin board.  _In peace._  So, unless you've developed the ability to walk through walls, you were following me."

Nida sighed. "Fine, I was. It has come to Garden's attention that your tactics for recruiting members to your cause have gotten more and more outrageous, and I have been tasked with stopping you before anyone gets hurt."

"Flippin' fudge muffins, Nida, no wonder they never let you out of the cockpit! You have no talent for subterfuge. How'd you even become a SeeD, anyway?"

"I led my squad members to safety during the X-ATM092 rampage."

"By hiding in a bar."

"Yes. A sane and sensible thing to do. No casualties."

"A boring thing to do! And now you're gonna spread your boring all over Garden and try to stop me from doing something I really care about." Selphie walked up to him until her nose was inches from his chest, then angled her face upward and scowled at him. "Garden Festival is my  _passion_ , Nida. But how can I expect you to understand? That word's not even in your vocabulary." She pushed him aside.

"I understand perfectly well," Nida called after her, grasping for a proper retort. "I have passion! I'm passionate about rules, about protocol, about my mission. I'm going to stop your little campaign, Tilmitt."

"Ooh,  _Tilmitt_. How cute, Nida's trying to act tough!"

"I'm serious."

"Okay, fine." She turned around, her green eyes sparkling, and Nida suddenly felt as if he had made the largest misstep of his life. "You wanna stop me? Go ahead and try. I'm looking forward to it." She smiled sweetly. "Just remember, I'm wildly creative. I'll always be a step ahead."

* * *

Nida sat in a corner of the cafeteria, one eye on his lunch, the other on the little flash of yellow that flitted about the tables on the other side of the room. Yes, Selphie was still recruiting, still handing out flyers, but she wasn't doing so in an outrageous way. In fact, he was certain that if she had asked him that nicely – if she had asked him at all, actually – he would've agreed to help her. But now, he knew she'd dialed back her efforts just to spite him.

But isn't this what Headmaster Cid wanted? For Selphie to behave? No. "She must be stopped," he'd said. He wanted Nida to stop Selphie's shenanigans for good, possibly even shut down the prospect of a Garden Festival entirely.

In that case, well … he could see how Selphie could accuse him of being boring.

She looked across the cafeteria, spotted him, and gave him a dainty little wave before bounding through the door to further proselytize the values of the Garden Festival Committee.

* * *

Day three of Operation Stop Selphie began early for Nida; so early, he didn't realize when day two had ended. Selphie was behaving oddly – well,  _behaving_ , period, which was odd for her – and Nida figured that she must be planning something extreme to make up for it. Remembering how she defaced the fountains in the middle of the night, he took it upon himself to patrol the lobby, walking around it all night. Clockwise around the fountain, about-face, counterclockwise. All was quiet. Too quiet.

Near lunchtime, he gave in and caught several hours of sleep, certain that when he woke, Balamb Garden would be covered with paint and glitter and confetti, and Cid would revoke his status as a SeeD. He tossed and turned, waking several times to nightmares of Selphie running amok, shoving glitter in people's faces and strangling them with streamers. By the time he gave up on getting any decent rest, the setting sun cast long shadows in his room, and he realized he was hungry.

He surveyed his surroundings on his way to the cafeteria. No glitter, no balloons. Not a speck of confetti. In fact, aside from a single flyer on the cafeteria's bulletin board, there was no evidence of Selphie's ongoing campaign.  _What was she planning?_  He thought of the possibilities and shuddered, and felt his appetite diminish. He nibbled only on plain bread, washed it down with a glass of water, and headed back to his post.

* * *

When Nida thought of torture, many things came to mind: beating, mutilation, electrocution, waterboarding. Good behavior was not one of them. As the week drew to a close, Nida's dedication to his mission began to take its toll on him. His face was drawn, and dark circles had bloomed below his eyes. He was shaky and jumpy, dropping things and reacting to the tiniest sounds.

_When was she going to make her move?_

"I'm always a step ahead," she had told him. But now it seemed like she had purposely dawdled at the starting line and let him run himself out. He sat on the edge of the fountain, listening to the water splashing behind him. So cool, so soothing, so peaceful …

"Booyaka!"

Nida jumped, trying to scramble backwards away from the sudden sound, and landed in the fountain. He stood up in the waist-deep water and looked for the source of the noise.

"Oh geez, Nida, I'm sorry!" Selphie leaned over the edge and extended her hand.

Nida shook his head and squinted at her. Strange. She really did look sorry. Still, he didn't move.

"Aw, come on! I didn't know you were so jumpy. I only wanted to wake you up, sleepyhead, before Cid or Xu caught you."

"You didn't," Nida said, swirling the water with his hands. "You wanted to see this happen."

"Well, not this, exactly. I wanted to see you get spooked, not take a swim."

Nida sighed and walked over to the edge of the fountain. He hauled himself up on the ledge, keeping his soggy legs over the water to drip-dry.

Selphie gathered her stack of freshly-printed flyers and studied his face. "Ugh, you look like a wreck! What's wrong, are you sick or something? Maybe you should see Dr. Kadowaki."

"No, I'm not 'sick or something,'" Nida answered. "Thank you for your concern. But this is all your fault to begin with."

" _My_  fault? How?"

"'I'm wildly creative,' you said. 'I'll always be a step ahead.' I've spent the last week pulling double, sometimes triple, shifts to catch you doing whatever it is you have planned. But  _no_ , all of a sudden you're little miss perfect, acting all sweet and courteous." He shook a finger at her, sending drops of water flying. "But I know you, Tilmitt, I know you have something up your sleeve. You're just waiting for me to drop my guard."

Selphie's eyes were wide. She blinked at him. "Wow," she said, "maybe I underestimated you. For such a bland-looking guy, you've got quite an imagination."

"What?"

"I don't have anything up my sleeve. Heck, I hardly wear things with sleeves! I'm just going about promoting the Garden Festival like you and Cid want me to. Nicely."

"Uh-huh. Of course, that's what you'd say! But I don't believe it." Nida grabbed the stack of flyers from her hand and jumped back into the fountain. "Don't tell me you didn't have something like this planned," he said, flinging the flyers into the air around him, letting them fall into the water and float atop it like brightly-colored lily pads.

"Join the Garden Festival committee," he said in a falsetto. "It's fun! It's exciting! I promise I don't have dictatorial tendencies! It's all fun and games!" He looked back at her. "Tell me that wasn't what you had planned."

"No." Selphie pursed her lips and her shoulders began to shake. She tried hard to hold it back, but finally began to guffaw. Other voices joined in, and Nida realized that he had attracted quite a crowd. Red-faced, he began collecting the sodden flyers, avoiding everyone's eyes. After several minutes with no reaction from him, the crowd dispersed, still giggling and talking. He trudged to the edge of the fountain and placed the wad of flyers on the ledge in front of Selphie.

"You really hadn't planned something like that?" he asked, pulling himself out of the water.

"No. Over the past few days, I realized that maybe you and Cid have a point. Maybe I'm only pushing people away with my tactics. I've tried being courteous, and guess what, more people have signed up than ever before!" Selphie beamed at him. "So, I guess I should thank you. You made me realize that I don't always have to go to extremes to get people's support."

Nida put his head in his hands and groaned. "I wish you would've told me this before I made a total fool of myself."

"Would you have believed me?"

He turned to look at her. She gave his shoulder a light punch. "So Garden knows Nida can get a little crazy sometimes. So you made a fool of yourself, and you got your uniform all wet, and it's probably gonna get all mildewed and maybe shrink, too, but look on the bright side. At least it can't get any worse."

"I suppose."

"Yup, it can only go up from here." Selphie opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a cadet.

"Selphie, Selphie," the cadet shouted, holding a small silver device. "I have the perfect advertisement for your Garden Festival webpage! I was on my way back from photography club when that wacko started flinging flyers around in the fountain – oh, hey there!" She looked at Nida and waved, then continued, "— and I have it all on video! Isn't that cool? It's like, Garden Festival is so fun, even SeeDs go cuckoo for it!"

Selphie looked from the girl to Nida and back several times. Then, a wide grin spread across her face. "Whoo-hoo, that's amazing!" she said. "Come on, let's go upload it right now! Hey, do you think we should add a soundtrack …"

Nida groaned again and flopped back into the fountain. If he hugged the edge of the fountain, he figured, he should be able to stay safely out of sight until curfew.

\- END -


End file.
